Aha Moments with the Savior

Who doesn't like a to do list, or a top 10 things to remember list?  For the free spirited soul, this would probably not be your favorite thing.  But for me, the type A, get it done gal, I love lists! I don't always follow them, or accomplish all that they suggest, but I cherish well thought out plans of action. How does this parlay into what we should and should not say to our children as they go down their road of infertility and/or adoption? Do you ever wish you had a "how to" manual on how to say and do the right thing?  In ALL circumstances?  We do have that manual; it's called the Bible.  But with so many chapters, verses, stories, and complicated passages, how can you know what is for you in this particular instance?  A list such as this requires lots of input, prayer, and practicality.  So, in an effort to help things along, here we go: 1. At the first conversation about their situation, listen more, talk less.     Our role is to...

Recently, I was asked by a long time friend of mine about the adoption road my daughter and son-in-law are traveling.  Immediately, I felt the urge to share all that was going on, what I was truly feeling, and my thoughts on the matter.  Boy, did the contents of this blog hit me right on the head! The conversation was going to be all about what I was thinking or feeling.  Not the real facts or what we have been told we can share. As I wrote in my last post, the infertility or adoption journey that your children may be traveling is their story to tell, not yours!  Sure, we can share updates or anything we have permission to share, but laying it all out there is not our job.   We are to support, encourage, and pray for our children's situations, but only from the sidelines. This may strike many as a "standoffish" approach, but in the long run, the journey they are on is their own.  We, the would-be grandparents are not the key players.  We are t...

Our little miracle grandson! I am blessed to be able to lead a monthly support group for women who are walking through infertility, adoption, or infant loss.  Having lost a baby of my own, my heart plunges head-on into what these sweet ladies bring to our monthly meetings.  Sadness, anxiety, hope, despair, and yes, even laughter make up this road so many travel.  https://www.sarahs-laughter.com/ A quick research on Google states that in a 2010 study; it was found that at least 1 in 8 couples struggle with some sort of infertility.   Further, a look on the American Adoptions website confirms this about adoption:  about  10 percent  of women in the United States — 6.1 million — have difficulty       getting or staying pregnant. While not all women facing infertility will pursue adoption, a  2002 study  by the Centers for Disease Control shows that more than half (57 percent) of women who use infertility...

My husband and I took Gary Chapman's "Love Language" quiz many years ago.  When we shared our results with one another, we both realized that we had "Gifts" as the bottom language on our test sheets! Imagine the shock we felt when we realized we had been doing holidays and birthdays all wrong for so many years.  After a few laughs and sharing our revelation with those around us, we determined to change the way we do our celebrations.  Did we figure it out?  Not by a long shot! We both realized that our primary love language is "quality time."  So, how that applies to anniversaries and Valentine's Day is to do something together!  We can go to a movie, out to dinner, or just hang out and we have satisfied this aspect of our need in our relationship. But oftentimes, why do we still feel as if we have missed the mark?  We want to honor one another with our time and attention, but the world seems to interfere by telling us what we "need...

Late last fall, I had the "privilege" of tagging along with my husband through the state of Florida.  It was a working vacation of sorts for me while I joined him on his journey visiting people associated with the ministry for whom he works. I must say, perception vs. reality really came to light this time.  I had visions of endless time to sit at my computer and catch up some much needed work assignments.  Nope, did not happen.  Further, I had hoped my husband and I would have lots of time together to just talk and enjoy our time together driving through the state.  That too did not occur.  Too much time on the phone, making appointments and scheduling last minute visits.  Not to mention, calls from back home dealing with a semi-crisis long distance.  Six hotels in 7 days.  Yep, I hauled that suitcase of mine in and out of hotels that many times.  I began to wish that I had not packed so many clothes! (P.S. I got over that feeling!)...

Alexis Donielle Dover I was recently asked to share my story about our own loss in 1986.  In preparing my written version, it dawned on me that this blog would be a perfect place to put it out there.  I am amazed at how fast time has passed since experiencing this gut wrenching event. I also marvel how God has put back together all the pieces.  I can honestly say that His grace is enough, His mercies are new each morning, and He brings beauty out of the ashes. My story began over 31 years ago! We gave birth to our first child, a girl, on February 8, 1986.  She was declared healthy, passing all hospital tests.  We stayed the usual couple of days and were sent home. I noticed about 3 weeks later, while trying to feed her, that she was not eating particularly well one afternoon. It was a cold, dreary Sunday and I remember trying to feed her and she would continually  fall asleep.  My husband was in the other room watching sports on TV....

Many of you may wonder what these three "h" words have in common?  For me, so very much. On August 20th I left a piece of my heart at a dorm called " Heritage ."  The significance being that dropping off our youngest at college would forever change our family structure as we've known it for almost 30 years!  It was the start of an empty nest.  One we anticipated and even relished. We came home to an empty room, no teenager vehicle in the driveway, and no messes around the house. How did we really feel about it then? And then, before we even had a chance to fully process the impact, along came another "h," that being Hurricane Harvey ! Within a week, we are bracing for what could be a hurricane of the century.   My husband had to rush to help our other son prepare his house for evacuation.  Working with plywood, nails, hammers, and a drill in good working order were the events of the afternoon.  Several hours later, they ...