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  40 Years Ago Today March 6, 1986 to March 6, 2026 It's been 40 years since that goodbye at the Children's Hospital in Denver, Colorado.  I would say it seems like ages ago since we walked in to that NICU of the hospital and given the news that they found yet again, something else wrong with our little girl.  But then, sometimes it feels like just yesterday.  The feelings start anew and I am often surprised when they come upon me. Our little Alexis Donielle Dover was born on February 8, 1986.  Our firstborn, she came on schedule and what we thought as completely healthy.  We took her home a couple of days later and began to be a family of three instead of two.  Oh how she made us smile.  We just couldn't stop looking at her!  Imagine our world when we had a sick baby who needed to go to the emergency room on March 2nd!  After many tests and "we need to get her to Children's Hospital right away," comments, our little precious baby was ai...

Living in Faith

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What does it mean when you hear people say, "you just gotta have faith?"  It often just seems like some sort of platitude, or something to say when you don't really know what to say.  Many times you say it thinking that if it's said, it will be true. But what about those times where even saying those words feels false, not enough, or just plain ridiculous? Do you feel as if you can't even imagine how God would take care of the situation?  We are at our wits end, can't think straight, or just overwhelmed with what is happening in our lives.  In those times, what do we do? Recently, I experienced a dead in.  You know, the "can't move another inch" dead in.  I was stuck.  Nothing seemed right; everything seemed like it was just on remote control; and, I was frozen!  I often wonder if it is my age or stage of life that is bringing me to these types of feelings.  Maybe middle age really does come with emotional baggage after all! During...

Empty Nest Part 2 - Who Really Cares?

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Eli - Year Two Departure to College! Last year at this time I wrote about our youngest leaving for his first year of college.  The empty nest began.  We managed to survive and even thrive during his time away from us.  He came home for the summer, worked hard, navigated our home rules, and made it to the end basically unscathed! Instead of the family packing up two vehicles and heading as a pack to move him into his dorm, this youngest of ours packed his own truck, got it serviced, and headed out on a Friday morning for the three hour drive to school....alone! I said my official goodbyes the night before, but had to sneak into his room early Friday morning to give him a last hug, words of wisdom, and pray over him before I left for work.  I was in a hurry that day as I had a full list of things to do at the office.  It wasn't until I walked in the door Friday afternoon that I saw the gaps, the holes, the emptiness.  I reluctantly went up to his roo...

The Wonder of His Creation

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The Grand Tetons National Park - June 2018 This summer I was able to visit the gorgeous colors, views, and coolness of Jackson Hole, Wyoming.  What a gift to my husband and myself as we used the week to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary!  I am rather shocked that so many years have gone by.  It really does seem like a short time ago that the two of us were saying our I dos! In preparing for this trip I diligently studied the weather, what to pack, where to go, and even pre-booked a few excursions.  What I didn't prepare for was the amazing way God has shown us a facet of Himself:  Creator!  During this trip my husband and I kept commenting that God apparently forgot to deposit a few of these gorgeous mountains in central Texas!  Further, the weather was often for jackets and sweaters. Given the 90-100 degrees we experience back home, it was a welcome relief to bask in the coolness. Seeing those gorgeous mountains of the Grand Tetons who...

Part 4 .....What Should Your Financial Commitment be to Your Children Walking Through Infertility or Adoption?

Wow!  This is a biggie!  As would-be grandparents watching one of our children go through the processes and expenses of an overseas adoption, we are floored as to the level of financial commitment that is required of them.  Their persistence, ingenuity, and patience to make this happen is to be commended. I was honestly afraid to ask this child how much all of this would cost.  So, as any good mother of multiple children, I went directly to her older sister. After all, don't sisters tell each other everything? She shared with me the statistics, and data given her.  I must say, I was blown away by the amount of money an endeavor such as adoption will cost.  Further, in speaking with some going through infertility treatments, the cost again is staggering! Several parents have mentioned to me that they hate seeing their children spend so much of their money on either of these paths.  After all, most young couples are at the start of their careers, an...

Part 3 ..... The Do's and Don'ts when Our Children are Traveling the Road of Infertility or Adoption

Who doesn't like a to do list, or a top 10 things to remember list?  For the free spirited soul, this would probably not be your favorite thing.  But for me, the type A, get it done gal, I love lists! I don't always follow them, or accomplish all that they suggest, but I cherish well thought out plans of action. How does this parlay into what we should and should not say to our children as they go down their road of infertility and/or adoption? Do you ever wish you had a "how to" manual on how to say and do the right thing?  In ALL circumstances?  We do have that manual; it's called the Bible.  But with so many chapters, verses, stories, and complicated passages, how can you know what is for you in this particular instance?  A list such as this requires lots of input, prayer, and practicality.  So, in an effort to help things along, here we go: 1. At the first conversation about their situation, listen more, talk less.     Our role is to...

Part 2...When Our Children are Traveling the Road of Infertility or Adoption....What our Children CHOOSE to Tell Us

Recently, I was asked by a long time friend of mine about the adoption road my daughter and son-in-law are traveling.  Immediately, I felt the urge to share all that was going on, what I was truly feeling, and my thoughts on the matter.  Boy, did the contents of this blog hit me right on the head! The conversation was going to be all about what I was thinking or feeling.  Not the real facts or what we have been told we can share. As I wrote in my last post, the infertility or adoption journey that your children may be traveling is their story to tell, not yours!  Sure, we can share updates or anything we have permission to share, but laying it all out there is not our job.   We are to support, encourage, and pray for our children's situations, but only from the sidelines. This may strike many as a "standoffish" approach, but in the long run, the journey they are on is their own.  We, the would-be grandparents are not the key players.  We are t...