A Day of New Beginnings Part 2
My last post regarding sending off a child to school was in 2013. Our youngest child's first day of high school. As I reread that post I find myself at another new beginning: that same child's first days in college as an entering freshman!
As many often ask, "where has the time gone?" I watch my married daughter who is raising our first grandson. He is now 18 months old and a handful! Talking to her when she is tired, worn out, or just looking for a few minutes peace reminds me that I too was once in her shoes. Four times over! I remember thinking then that I would NEVER get a chance to be alone.
And now, here we are, newly empty nesters and we have all the alone time in the world! As I said before, "where has the time gone?" We worked hard all summer long to get him ready for this next stage in life. But we feel we forgot something or more than one thing! It was hard leaving him knowing we may not have covered all the bases. On the long drive home we went over everything we said or did and the things we didn't say or do.
He was absolutely ready for this next chapter. He tested our limits all summer long. I once read that the reason why your teenagers give you such a hard time during that summer between high school and college is so you will be totally ready to set them free! The blessing of seeing them start afresh with the world laying before them is contagious. You feel excitement and anticipation. But you also feel so totally unprepared. I found myself telling him how to do his laundry. This kid has been doing his own laundry throughout his high school years!
Loading up the vehicles; driving to his new home; unloading and setting up his new surroundings; those things were easy compared to the final goodbyes. I had told myself all summer that I had this down; I had done it three other times already. That plays out well in the logistical side of things but when it came down to the final moments, I knew I was a goner!
Our goodbyes occurred in the parking lot of a church we attended as a family. We always attended church with our children just prior to leaving them for the semester. Our motive was to introduce them to a new place of worship that we hope would become their new church home in the weeks to come. This time we repeated the same process.
As he walked us to our car, I could feel the emotions overcome my being. Thank goodness for dark sunglasses. We said a few meaningless things I am sure. Last minute cautions, to dos, etc. We finally started the hugs. This young one of ours said, "come on, let's do the family hug thing," and that is where I lost it! The tears came and I told him how much I will miss him. He too was wearing his sunglasses so I don't really know what he was thinking or feeling, but I assume he sensed the sadness.
We got in our car and drove away. It took several miles before we began to discuss the feeling we had in our hearts. It was a hard time but yet, as I reflect, it was a good time. Two people who have raised four children and made it out alive to tell about it! A sense of knowing that God has our son in His total control and our job as parents is to now pray for him, daily. We know what we are supposed to do, but yet, how we balk, knowing that we would much rather do things ourselves.
A scripture came to mind regarding this letting go of our last child:
“Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it” (Proverbs 22:6 NLT).
Somehow I did not find comfort in this verse as it brought up a lot of "oh I wish I had...! As I continued to ponder this however, I began to unpack its meaning for me. Did I try to share God's love and His desire to be my children's Savior? Absolutely. Did I model godly living? I hope so. Do I pray continually for my children to make choices that honor Him? You bet. I am blessed to know that God "nudged" me and is still nudging me to lift my children in prayer, no matter how old they are.
So maybe, as we become an empty nest, as they say, my extra time will be filled with deeper prayer. More times leaning on Him to be my son's guide. Leaving him at school last week did not take away my responsibilities towards him, it added to it. So what next? I look with anticipation as to how God will lay prayers on my heart. I will enjoy this newfound alone time with my husband. I will enjoy a clean house, maybe! And just perhaps, I will find something just for me. A new, revitalized relationship with the ONE who sees me and knows me.
Now that is a new beginning!
As many often ask, "where has the time gone?" I watch my married daughter who is raising our first grandson. He is now 18 months old and a handful! Talking to her when she is tired, worn out, or just looking for a few minutes peace reminds me that I too was once in her shoes. Four times over! I remember thinking then that I would NEVER get a chance to be alone.
And now, here we are, newly empty nesters and we have all the alone time in the world! As I said before, "where has the time gone?" We worked hard all summer long to get him ready for this next stage in life. But we feel we forgot something or more than one thing! It was hard leaving him knowing we may not have covered all the bases. On the long drive home we went over everything we said or did and the things we didn't say or do.
He was absolutely ready for this next chapter. He tested our limits all summer long. I once read that the reason why your teenagers give you such a hard time during that summer between high school and college is so you will be totally ready to set them free! The blessing of seeing them start afresh with the world laying before them is contagious. You feel excitement and anticipation. But you also feel so totally unprepared. I found myself telling him how to do his laundry. This kid has been doing his own laundry throughout his high school years!
Loading up the vehicles; driving to his new home; unloading and setting up his new surroundings; those things were easy compared to the final goodbyes. I had told myself all summer that I had this down; I had done it three other times already. That plays out well in the logistical side of things but when it came down to the final moments, I knew I was a goner!
Our goodbyes occurred in the parking lot of a church we attended as a family. We always attended church with our children just prior to leaving them for the semester. Our motive was to introduce them to a new place of worship that we hope would become their new church home in the weeks to come. This time we repeated the same process.
As he walked us to our car, I could feel the emotions overcome my being. Thank goodness for dark sunglasses. We said a few meaningless things I am sure. Last minute cautions, to dos, etc. We finally started the hugs. This young one of ours said, "come on, let's do the family hug thing," and that is where I lost it! The tears came and I told him how much I will miss him. He too was wearing his sunglasses so I don't really know what he was thinking or feeling, but I assume he sensed the sadness.
We got in our car and drove away. It took several miles before we began to discuss the feeling we had in our hearts. It was a hard time but yet, as I reflect, it was a good time. Two people who have raised four children and made it out alive to tell about it! A sense of knowing that God has our son in His total control and our job as parents is to now pray for him, daily. We know what we are supposed to do, but yet, how we balk, knowing that we would much rather do things ourselves.
A scripture came to mind regarding this letting go of our last child:
“Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it” (Proverbs 22:6 NLT).
Somehow I did not find comfort in this verse as it brought up a lot of "oh I wish I had...! As I continued to ponder this however, I began to unpack its meaning for me. Did I try to share God's love and His desire to be my children's Savior? Absolutely. Did I model godly living? I hope so. Do I pray continually for my children to make choices that honor Him? You bet. I am blessed to know that God "nudged" me and is still nudging me to lift my children in prayer, no matter how old they are.
So maybe, as we become an empty nest, as they say, my extra time will be filled with deeper prayer. More times leaning on Him to be my son's guide. Leaving him at school last week did not take away my responsibilities towards him, it added to it. So what next? I look with anticipation as to how God will lay prayers on my heart. I will enjoy this newfound alone time with my husband. I will enjoy a clean house, maybe! And just perhaps, I will find something just for me. A new, revitalized relationship with the ONE who sees me and knows me.
Now that is a new beginning!
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